Lessons From An Almost 2 Year Old
We live in a Zoo,
Because I'm almost two,
And sure give you a run for your money.
That's why they say:
"Don't wait another day,"
And "there's no perfect time for a baby!"
Now here are the rules,
Hopefully eliminating the duels,
Since it's time you learn I make 'em.
I find it; it's mine,
And I'm perfectly fine,
No matter if it's dog food or "yucky".
I don't have words so I scream,
You better know exactly what I mean,
Or I'll cry 'til you give me a treat.
So excited, I dance,
Like I'll never get another chance,
You'll do it if you know what's good for you.
I get 4 teeth at a time,
Making me out of my mind,
With drool coming out like a faucet.
When I'm done my food,
I become quite crude,
pondering ways to show you.
The best is smearing it in my hair,
And sending it there, over my chair,
Watching you and the dog scrounge over it.
You turn that way,
And my pants fall away,
No one is quite sure how I do it.
I'm telling you now,
It's something to allow,
Since it's breezier and makes it easier to run.
Do you dare give me spicy food?
See the change in my mood,
As it makes it's way south of the border.
You know that favorite toy?
Don't let me misplace it or -Oh Boy!
Watch my whole world crumble down.
You'll sure be in trouble,
Which is why they say buy double!
So, go now to each store and find another. Chop chop!
I'm told I look like my dad,
Which isn't all bad,
Since I'm sure he's the funnest thing out there.
He's crazy and great,
Let's me over the gate,
And I don't care if he's got hair in the wrong places.
I make it obvious when I poop,
To keep you in the loop,
Which does not mean changing it will be easy.
I will run away and hide,
Bringing you to the dark side,
'Cause playing the hide-and-go-seek poop game is fun!
Let the Tupperware towers fall where they may,
'Cause at the end of the day,
It's all about hugs and the time we shared.
I run like hell,
Have you under my spell;
And you are my one and only mommy.
So come here for a kiss,
Just don't let me miss,
Because my mouth is open and slobbery.
You've got just what I need,
Clean me when I peed,
No matter how many times a day I do it.
You cuddle me just right,
Put up with the bed-time fight,
And give me the best life I could wish for.